"You'll be a great mother one day"

More than once (*coughs* ten *coughs* or more), someone has turned to me and said 'you'll be a great mother one day' or when I've talked about plans for writing, travelling and such, they have said 'I think you'll fall in love and get married' or even something as simple as a 'oh you'll understand when you are in love/have kids/are married'. I find this chiefly comes from the fact I'm amazing with children. This isn't a ego-stroke here, I never thought I was good with kids until I started my library job nearly seven years ago now, I'd never even met anyone younger than me (home-schooled) other than perhaps passing by them in a museum or fair ground. But since starting my work, I must have been in contact with hundreds of children and I've seen a fair few grow up too, which is just such a lovely thing to witness. But this isn't confined to work either.

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I'll give you an example that really got up my nose. I was on a train home when I bumped into an old work colleague (absolutely lovely lady, miss her!) and a mother with a little toddler sat down with us. We began talking all three of us and the toddler let's randomly call her Ruby started acting up. She wouldn't sit down, or stay still, kept annoying other passengers and running off. You could see this mother (about 21, 22, very close to my age) was really tired and trying to sip the dregs of her energy levels. So, I pulled out my tricks of Child Tamer. The best thing to do if you are not a mother/relation/friend (and no one weird random stranger either, you have to have an official post like librarian or a brief conversational link at least with the mother) is to 'get on the kid's level'. You regress back to a child yourself, make it all fun and games, but have a purpose to it. So, the child was trying to hide from everyone else, under the belief it was some sort of secret mission or rather, a thing I used to do in the back of my Mum's car, where we we're making a daring escape from the evil Mr Skinner (e.g. the car behind us). I said we had to be very very quiet and hide under our blankets (she had a security blanket, I had a coat). And hey presto! You have a child keeping quiet, staying still and enjoying herself at the same time! Ruby loved it! The mother asked me if I had any kids of my own and I had to stop myself from replying HOLY B*LLS NO, I'M 21! Both mother and colleague started cooing over the fact I would be an amazing mum some day. Now, I can see the compliment and I appreciate it, but no way do I ever want kids. Or marriage. Maybe love, but even that I treat with deep suspicion, no matter how many times I dream about having someone.

I love children, but I love to be able to give them back to their parents. I love my peace and quiet too much, I love my independence, I love not being tied down by responsibilities (save for the necessary chores and family responsibilities) and I would be constantly terrified I was doing the wrong thing for my kids. I see so many wonderful mums and grandparents, so many people who chose to have kids, and I respect them for it. But I also see a lot of Mums who you can tell wish they had never done it. No matter how much they love their kids, you can tell they want to do other things but can't. It's too late. And as for marriage, the only person I will ever share my bed year-on-year with comes with whiskers, claws and fur. I want to do my MA, my PhD, then hopefully be in a place I love and have the freedom to do what I like. I can work whatever hours I need to, save up money and go on a trip, without anything stopping me. I can take on all sorts of hobbies without having to fit it all around kids. That is what I want. I admit, freely admit that I often think 'well, maybe I would like a child one day' but that is quickly put out of my head when I think of all the things I wouldn't be able to do. I suppose some people may think it's selfish, that it's our duty to create, but I'm sorry, it's my life. So when you are next presuming that someone is going to get married, be a mum or whatever, perhaps just ASK them what it is they want. You can be great with kids and not want any yourself.

As for marriage, I don't believe in it. But that's another story perhaps! Rant over.

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Posted in Landscaping Post Date 04/13/2022






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